#1 – Iraqi Insurgents: In a devastating own-goal, Iraqi insurgent media group Al Fajr issued a video proclaiming jihad on China in Xinjiang, and named Wang Lequan, the region’s CPC Secretary, strongman and Politboro member as a prime target. Considering Iraqi insurgents have absolutely no proven or even alleged connection to Xinjiang, this will only give China another excuse in its otherwise evidence free persecution of Uyghurs and Muslims in Xinjiang. Way to look tough, guys, calling out a fight thousands of miles away. (h/t: Shanghaiist)

#2 – The New York Times: actually, I’m happy to see Howard French write about heroin and AIDS in Xinjiang, but I can’t believe he didn’t mention at all that the government banned a student HIV prevention organization. (h/t Opposite End of China)

#3 – Maria Bartiromo: CNBC’s host of The Wall Street Journal Report went to China, and had this to say about it on Public Radio’s Tavis Smiley, as reported by blogger William Dodson:

In reply to Tavis’s query about her first impression of China she said, “The stench.” She screwed up her face with those great beautiful eyes and full lips of hers. “When I stepped off the plane the stench was so strong. And that’s because the factories are going night and day.” I nearly coughed out the bean burrito I was eating when she said that. “Then there were all the people. People were crossing the highway as we drove into the city.”

Stick that in your portfolio, kids! This is the cutting edge of television business news! (h/t: This is China!)

#4 – The Mass Protest Meme: right after stinkiness and “all the people”, a recent journalistic shortcut/cliche about China has been the 87,000 protests canard. ESWN puts on his professional statistician hat once again and reminds us all that these are PRC provided statistics, a.k.a. vast trove of inconsistent and opaque data sets. So next time someone uses that number to claim the Party is about to end, remind them it also counts the time Uncle Wang, drunk, put his foot in a grocers basket of eggs and ended up in a shouting match on the way home from a wild mahjong session. Indeed, revolution is at hand.

#5 – U.S. Cable Providers: for not even optioning the new Al Jazeera International, while CCTV9 is available on carriers such as Time Warner. Thanks for taking a clear stand on not airing propaganda. Clearly, David Frost is way more full of s**t than Yang Rui. Freedom is on the march!

#6 – SEZ Bubbleheads: aka Shanghai Syndrome aka Shekou Shingles aka Zhongguancun Jubilation Syndrome aka Friedmanitis. A thread at China Law Blog got Dan Harris and I talking about the globalization tunnel vision that seems to continue to grow about China. The business world continues to hype China, when really the China they’re talking about seems to be at most half the population and a quarter of the territory. Ideas that Chinese youth are cosmopolitan consumers, China will back office the world, and Starbucks will reign supreme seems to be talking about one China, while another China suffers the worst drought in 50 years, high suicide rates, a corrupt dog-eat-dog battle for higher education, no social safety net, no reinvested capital (that all goes to the cities) and not a Starbucks in sight (though Mingtien Coffee Language seems to get around just fine). And then there’s a whole gradation in between MNCs and the Sichuan migrant workers, which is dominated by Chinese businesses. I call shenanigans on the China version of “Dow 36,000”.

#7 – Slate: As if it’s not annoying enough that an army of China consultants are running around claiming they know the market because they heard Deutsche Bank is offering wealth management to Chinese millionaires, apparently you can get paid by Slate to write what any freshman China blog does, with slightly better writing. Deborah Fallows astonishing investigative journalism reveals:

* “We moved here a few months ago, abandoning our home and friends in Washington, D.C., to come learn about China” by living, apparently, in a “59-floor high-rise—which resembles a rocket ship”. You will learn much, intrepid explorer, for all Chinese live in rocket ships. By which we mean white tiled monstrosities.

* There’s pollution in China. This is the inside stuff, kids.

* Right outside her house someone brushed their teeth over the gutter. This, however, did not spark one iota of contemplation that he does not live in the rocket ship, and, indeed, few do. Never mind the coolies, Debbie.

* The woman she thought wanted to introduce her to another laowai was in fact collecting electric bills, she realized an hour later. This sort of ability to understand the locals is indeed rare amongst China correspondents.

* The traffic is crazy!

* They sell knockoffs on the street!

* When she found chicken breasts at a supermarket, she “like a frantic shopper on one of those free shopping sprees you see on Sunday morning TV”, because Chinese people only buy “piles of chicken feet and pig feet; hanging carcasses of generic meat; and scary assortments of inner organs. I could not figure out what happened to the real meat”. Way to learn the culture, Deborah. I’m gonna call you “Pearl”, if that’s ok.

* Look at this precious Chairman Mao teaset!

* Name cards are important, Pearl learned from anonymous sources.

* The English version of a Chinese air ticket website doesn’t work so well, Pearl reports from the gritty streets of Shanghai.

* A Chinese credit card is “a terrible pain for a foreigner to acquire”, and the only one you can use for the ctrip.com website. The English Customer Service page says they accept Visa, Mastercard, Diners, JCB and AMEX. More to the point, as far as I know all you need to get a Bank of China “Great Wall” card is the appropriate minimum balance. Am I wrong, people?

* They have crazy English names like Winkie and they suggest my Chinese name should be “”djye-bi”. That’s right, she’s doesn’t even know pinyin. Pearl S. (for “Shanghai”) Bubble, everyone! Give her a big hand! She’ll be at Slate all week! Oh dear God why!!!!!!

#8 – TalkTalkChina. Dead to me.